What is sex coaching?

“I’m really interested in sex;

how can I become a sex coach?”

You’re passionate about sex, you’ve watched a lot of YouTube videos, you’ve read some books, you’ve tried some workshops, and all of your friends talk to you about their sex lives.

 

So what’s stopping you from becoming a sex coach?

 

If you Google “sex coaching,” you’ll see lots of people who are practicing as sex coaches. Some of them may be bodyworkers, some may be sex workers, and others might be Tantrikas.

 

The crucial question is: How many of them have any formal training or recognized credentials?

We believe that when you are working with human sexuality, you’re working with the most sacred, sensitive, and fragile aspects of a person. Your clients will be sharing some really vulnerable things with you, so it’s your responsibility to provide them with the highest standard of care.

Sex is a lightning rod topic. You must tread carefully and above all, “do no harm.”

 

Exercise caution: There are many unqualified professionals working with sexuality in the global marketplace. People are working as sex coaches or sexologists with no formal training, and this is very troublesome to think that people claiming to be experts are committing what Dr. Patti likes to call the “Humpty Dumpty Effect." Don’t crack open your clients and then not know how to support putting them back together again. Our clients echo the sentiment that credentials (and real training for competency) matter.

 

This is why Sex Coach U is here.

 

 

Our co-founder, Dr. Patti Britton, is the original pioneer of sex coaching and a nationally board-certified Clinical Sexologist. She has over 40 years experience working in human sexuality, including  20+ years in private practice. She is the author of The Art of Sex Coaching: Expanding Your Practice, which is the first and (so far) only training manual on sex coaching.

 

We are proud to be the original and premier sex coaching trainers in the world.

What is the original sex coaching?

 

Sex coaching is the combination of sexology (“the what”) and applied coaching (“the how”).

 

We use the definition of humanistic sexology from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), created by the late Rev. Dr. Ted McIlvenna:


“Sexology is the study of what people do sexually and how they think and feel about it.”

Other professionals define sexology as the scientific study of human sexuality, such as behaviors, 
functions and interests. (Read more about what sexology is further down!)


Coaching at Sex Coach U is based on the co-active coaching model -- client-centered, future-focused, founded on levels of deep listening and intuitive guidance, and goal-oriented. It gets you where you really want to be.

Sex Coaching is:

 

  • Holistic

  • Person-centered

  • Sex-positive

  • Goal-oriented

  • Dynamic

  • Collaborative

  • Non-hierarchical

  • Empowering

 

We don’t focus on the past or do intense emotional processing. We focus on what our clients want to achieve sexually and we help them get there.

What Sex Coaching is NOT

 

  1. Sex Coaching is not sex therapy.  We focus on the present and the future, helping clients move towards what they want to achieve. Sex coaching typically takes place over a shorter time frame than sex therapy.

  2. Sex Coaching is not psychotherapy. Some clients may need more intensive therapy to help them move through any concerns, especially those experiencing severe mental health distress or trauma.

  3. Sex Coaching is not sex work. Most sex coaches will work “talk-only” with clients and sex coaches do not offer erotic services.

 

As a Sex Coach U trained sex coach, you need to work ethically and know that not every client will be coachable. This is when you need to refer out to another professional.

Sex Coaching is also not:

 

  • Pathologizing

  • Focused on “dysfunction” or “perversion”

  • A series of sex tips or “how to please your partner in bed”

  • Erotic entertainment

  • Deep emotional processing or focusing on the past

 

Real transformation and deep healing will happen in a sex coaching session. It’s highly therapeutic, but it is not therapy.

 

Our training is TALK-ONLY.

 

We fully support credentialed bodyworkers from reputable organizations, such as the Somatic Sex Educators Association (SSEA), International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA), and the Association of Somatic and Integrative Sexologists (ASIS).

 

Graduates of the Certified Sex Coach ™ program are eligible for membership with the Association of Somatic and Integrative Sexologists (ASIS), the American College of Sexologists International (ACSI), and the World Association of Sex Coaches (WASC).

MEBES© and PLISSIT/PLISSIC

 

We teach our students to work using the MEBES and PLISSIT models with clients.

 

MEBES © was created by Dr. Patti and stands for :

 

  • Mind

  • Emotions

  • Body/Body Image/Behaviors

  • Energy

  • Spirit

PLISSIT/PLISSIC is a model used in sex therapy created by Jack Annon and stands for:

 

  • Permission: Giving your clients the permission to want what they want, to have their desires and to embrace their sexuality.

  • Limited Information: Giving targeted sex information or brief education.

  • Specific Suggestions: Giving suggestions and home-play assignments to do after the session.

  • Intensive Therapy/Coaching: Helping clients move through what’s really stopping them from having what they want.

 

A good sex coach focuses on what the client wants to achieve and helps them get there.

 

 

Who can sex coaching help?

 

Sex coaching is designed to help with a wide range of sexual concerns (note the language, we call them “concerns” and not “dysfunction”).

 

Some of these concerns include:

 

  • No orgasm (or “pre-orgasmic”)

  • Erectile difficulties

  • Early ejaculation

  • Delayed ejaculation

  • Body image issues

  • Painful sex

  • Low desire

  • Sexless relationships

  • Desire to explore alternative sexualities

  • Uneven desire in a couple

  • Communication conflicts

  • Concerns about gender identity

  • Concerns about sexual orientation/attraction


 

You can read the full range of sexual concerns in The Art of Sex Coaching: Expanding Your Practice.

Who can be a sex coach?

 

Our sex coaching students and grads really do come from all walks of life and careers.

 

  • Therapists/MFTs who incorporate sex coaching into their practice

  • Bodyworkers (e.g. sexological bodyworkers, tantric practitioners, and surrogate partner therapists)

  • Reiki healers

  • Life coaches

  • Sex educators/bloggers

  • Nutritionists

  • Acupuncturists

  • Nurses

  • OB-GYNs

  • Other medical professionals

  • School teachers

  • Members of the clergy and religious leaders

  • Pleasure products consultants

  • Adult performers and erotic artists

  • Journalists

  • … And many, many more!

 

You can also be a career changer with no previous training in sexuality, but you are so passionate about it that you want to learn how you can turn it into a career. 

SAR Training

 

We believe that working as a sex coach, you must be continually evaluating your own values, attitudes, and beliefs. Whether you’re conscious of them or not, your values, attitudes, and beliefs will affect how you work with your clients, so it’s crucial that you know what yours are.

 

This is why SAR training is so important. SAR stands for Sexual Attitude Reassessment and Restructuring and is required by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) for certification and by our certification program for you to graduate.

 

Our co-founders, Dr. Patti Britton and the late Dr. Robert Dunlap, published the latest manual for SAR trainers in 2017: Designing and Leading a Successful SAR: A Guide for Sex Therapists, Sexuality Educators, and Sexologists.

 

SAR forces you to confront your internal biases, pushes your comfort zone and invites you to re-evaluate what you really believe about sexuality by being confronted with the wide range of human sexual expression in a safe group of your peers.

 

Dr. Patti has led over 50 SAR trainings, and continues to lead them every year both in the USA and internationally.

 

Learn more about SAR training here.

What is Sexology?

 

Sexology is a broad topic, so this is just some of what sexology covers:
 

  • Anatomy and physiology​

  • Gender and gender identity

  • Our beliefs about ourselves as sexual beings

  • Our body image

  • Orgasmic response

  • The sexual response cycle

  • Sexual attraction and orientation

  • Sexual relationships

  • Relationship diversity (such as polyamory and swinging)

  • BDSM, kink, and fetish play

  • Sacred Sexuality and spirituality (like Tantra, Quodoushka, and Sex Magick)

  • Pleasure

  • Sex toys and accessories

  • The study of sexuality across the lifespan (including child sexuality, adolescence and puberty, and sexuality as we age)
     

What’s the history of sexology?

 

Even though sexuality has existed for as long as there has been life on earth, we only started to take the study of human sexuality seriously within the past century.

 

The first academic to study sex was Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing, the author of Psychopathia Sexualis. Other notable sexologists were Havelock Ellis (an early champion  for women’s sexual rights, de-stigmatized homosexuality, and masturbation as a healthy form of sexual expression), Sigmund Freud, Magnus Hirschfeld (one of the first advocates for transgender persons), Ernst Grafenberg (for whom the “G-Spot” is named), John Money (who developed theories on sexual identity and gender identity--yet is a controversial figure due to his treatment of intersexuals), Alfred Kinsey (creator of the “Kinsey Scale”)  and, of course, the founders of modern sex therapy, Dr. William Masters and Virginia Johnson.

 

Contemporary figures in sexology include Beverly Whipple, David Schnarch, Carol Queen, Betty Dodson, Gina Ogden, and many more who often are guest faculty or speakers for our program.

Old Ideas vs Modern Attitudes

 

Sexology has come a long way since we first started studying it.


Traditional Sexology focused on pathology, dysfunction and perversion. Anything outside of traditional, monogamous, heterosexual, penis-in-vagina reproductive marital sex was considered abnormal.

 

While this may feel very old-school, you need to remember that the study of human sexuality is influenced by the attitudes and beliefs of the times. However, even today, there are many schools of sex therapy and sexology that still go by this or even a more medicalized model.

 

Contemporary sexology is moving towards a holistic, person-centered and sex-positive model. We are focusing less on sexual dysfunction, on what is “natural vs normal” and more towards embracing human sexuality as a full spectrum of life expression and experience.

Do you think you could be a sex coach, too?

 

The world needs more competent professionals who can work with sex and sexuality. This is why we’re here, and probably, why you’re here, too.

 

If you’re feeling the call-- to step up, to build a career flowing from your passion, and to be a facilitator for deep healing, learn about our next enrollment and join the waiting list here.

 

 

We can’t wait to meet you!

 

Love and Light,

 

The Team at Sex Coach U

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